Surprised? A Little Bit, I Guess

(AP Photo/Jim Mone) If you haven’t been paying attention, you’ve been missing a strange, maddening, encouraging, teetering-on-the-brink-of-disaster one day, triumphing-over-adversity the next, almost wholly improbable stretch of baseball from the Minnesota Twins. The Twins season to date doesn’t really add up, and they’re certainly not going about their business the way past teams have. Yet, […]

I Can't Believe I Watched the Whole Thing: That's Why They Play Nine, You Communists, Part Two

AP Photo/Orlin Wagner As I sat staring vacantly at the TV in the ninth inning of last night’s Kansas City-Minnesota game, I had another of my brief, increasingly pathetic revelations. My God, I said to my dog, This really is my life. Which is something I find myself saying to my dog with alarming frequency […]

What Fresh Hell Is This?

Sidney Ponson? Come on, seriously: Sidney Ponson? You have to be kidding me. Truly, there is very, very little that could give me more displeasure than seeing that fat Aruban hump toss a complete game gem in the Metrodome. My displeasure wouldn’t be much diminished even if he had been wearing a Minnesota uniform. (Here’s […]

Guts and Small Ball

AP Photo by Jim Mone Francisco Liriano was almost as disappointing as Nelson Liriano. There has been a disquieting wave of injuries—to Michael Cuddyer, Kevin Slowey, Adam Everett, Scott Baker, Nick Punto, and, most depressingly, to Pat Neshek. The offense has been erratic; the power and team on base percentage alarming. Up and down the […]

That's Why They Play Nine, You Communists: Meet Your First Place Minnesota Twins

AP Photo/Hannah Foslien I’m not a fair weather fan. Honest to God, I’m not. Seriously. I’m not. This season, however, I am trying very hard not to let the game eat me alive. I’m also trying very hard not to allow the game to eat up so damn much of my time. It’s a hard […]

Mean Business

The Minnesota Twins mean business in their new commercial. Morneau, Cuddyer, and Mauer wear ultra-cool Twins fan gear. They begin strolling to the soundtrack of Led Zeppelin’s "Dazed and Confused." In slow motion, the camera catches each individual, like a shot out of Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs. On location, at the under-construction open stadium, it’s […]