Brad Zellar The Twins are 9-3 in their last twelve games, and have gained exactly nothing on the White Sox. I can’t quite decide whether that should be encouraging or discouraging news for either Minnesota or Chicago. Flip a coin, I guess. I suppose, really, it all depends on whether or not you believe the Sox are … Read more
You were talking about disinclination. Let’s explore that idea further, if we may. No, sorry, I thought I made it plenty fucking clear that I’m feeling disinclined. Well, perhaps then you might tell me a bit more about your travels in Saudi Arabia. I’m afraid you’ve once again mistaken me for another patient. I’ve never … Read more
I’ve written previously about my love of indexes (or indices, if you’re so inclined), and my huge admiration for the people who make a living compiling these things. Many of these folks clearly have a perverse sense of humor and the souls of poets. Some of them are perhaps batshit crazy. Check out the decidedly … Read more
That if Dougie Baseball was still flashing the leather over at first and saving more runs than most first basemen produce with the bat we’d already be looking at the White Sox in our rearview mirror? Oh, and by the way, Justin Morneau’s slugging percentage (.780) is higher at the moment than Mientkiewicz’s on base-plus-slugging … Read more
–Illustration by James Dankert Last week was a mess all around, and Friday night was the capper. I guess I drank too much of something bad, and things got away from me. I swear, though, that I was determined to get something to Zellar, but my mother called me in the middle of the game … Read more
I was put in this world to march, but one leg’s longer than the other, my boots are too tight, and I walk with a limp that gets more pronounced by the day. Still, those were my early orders: March. And I am a man who follows orders, if not instructions. Instructions, it seems to … Read more
Turn that frown upside down Twins fans. I could, and should, just leave it that, because I really didn’t get much of a chance to pay attention to today’s game. I needed to roll a rock up a hill, so I had to take a pass on sneaking away to the Dome. I also felt … Read more
It’s amazing how quickly a breaking story can be covered from every conceivable angle. Early yesterday the reaction to Juan Rincon’s suspension was a mixture of shock, incredulity, and outrage. The details in the initial press release were sketchy, at best. It wasn’t clear what exactly Rincon might have ingested to merit the suspension, but … Read more
Sometimes I feel like the days are a floor I’m crawling across, blind, with a dead flower in my mouth, trying to find my way to the other side, which is here, and a few body lengths into the darkness beyond here. It’s a slow business, often bruising. Where did the flower come from? And … Read more
I just got word that Juan Ricon has been suspended for ten days after testing positive for a banned substance under Major League Baseball’s new drug policy. Scott Baker will be recalled from Rochester to take Rincon’s place on the roster. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Among the possible candidates for steroid use … Read more