Brad Zellar From the pages of Matthew LeCroy’s 1993 Belton-Honea Path, South Carolina high school yearbook: Damn, Dave Gassner was a lot of fun to watch today. He sure looked like one of those cool, crafty lefthanders who could have a nice, long career. Whenever the build-up on a guy places so much emphasis on the fact … Read more
—illustration: James Dankert All day I was looking forward to hustling home from my job as a lobby gnome at an office building downtown so I could settle into the couch to watch the Twins and Indians. Friday nights –like most other nights– are usually a clear, blank radar screen at Jumbo’s posh hovel, but … Read more
Have you noticed over the last several seasons how every time a Central Division foe has tried to talk trash about the Twins in the media it’s seemed to result in an immediate upsurge in the quality of play from Ron Gardenhire’s charges? Granted, what qualifies as bulletin-board grade trash-talking in baseball is generally pretty … Read more
I figured out pretty quick that I didn’t have the goods to be any kind of a proper accountant, despite pissing away God knows how much money on what some fools would call an education. Maybe, actually, I should have said ‘real accountant.’ I lacked the discipline and the attention (and, frankly, the interest) to … Read more
Last night’s terrific 5-4 comeback victory against the Tigers had no shortage of dramatic plot lines, from the return of Joe Mays and his $17 million arm to Shannon Stewart’s walk-off game-winner off the Rheumatoid Terminator, Troy Percival. Almost lost in all the hullabaloo was rookie Jason Bartlett’s first major league homerun, for which he … Read more
I’m not quite sure how to say this. I realize this is an awkward moment, and I apologize in advance if what I’m about to say hurts your feelings. I certainly value our friendship too much to jeopardize it over something which I fear might sound terribly petty. I can assure you I’ve gone back … Read more
To really appreciate what an amazing accomplishment it is for Joe Mays to be making his first start in a year-and-a-half you almost have to have spent some time around the guy. I honestly have no idea what to expect, but I will say that I seriously never thought he’d make it back. Mays is … Read more
Really, all he wanted was to fill pages, to spill ink across the lines, to blow through as many pens and as many lines and pages and empty black books as he possibly could. He hoped that somehow, in the trickle and torrent of words he might stumble into something that seemed like…the way it … Read more
You obviously shouldn’t draw too many conclusions based on the first six games of the season, especially since so far it’s been a case of perceptions not exactly measuring up to reality. Or at least some perceptions. I’ve seen all six games, and without looking closely at the numbers I’d say that, with the exception … Read more
There are plenty of things you whippersnappers take for granted that were nothing but dreams and mysteries to those of us who were responsible for digging up so many of the early answers. We had to get to the bottom of all manner of monkey business, and to say that we had limited resources at … Read more