Category: Blog Post

  • Everyone's A Critic. Thank God.

    Stephen Colbert’s relentless standup at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner would have gone unremarked, if not for the power of the internets. This is understandable. When you shit on everyone in the room, they tend not to run outside and brag about it. And given that the shit-sandwich was cut in half and shared in equal measure between the president and the press, it’s no wonder that press coverage has been, well, muted. On the other hand, I can’t exactly figure out why Wonkette has taken a contrarian, clucking pass, while their slightly older, slightly snarkier New York counterparts at Gawker have found a way to squeeze more humor from the sitch while acknowledging the reality-based community and its silly preoccupation with, y’ know, televised tragedy and comedy. I liked Priesmeyer’s rundown–and congrats to her for being one of the first to post at the outset of a long silence. Though I think it slightly overstates the case, it obviously hit the mark for dozens of appreciative commentors. Woolcott’s is a more measured take, but also recognizes the brilliance and the courage of Colbert’s monologue. It was not exactly a hard rain to clean the streets of all that, um, taint. But it was definitely a soaking sprinkle. Then too, you can always judge the success of these things by the persisting swagger in the tone of the ignorant and the mendacious, who are protesting much too loudly that Colbert was a “flop.” They would better flatter themselves by merely keeping their mouths clamped down in that patriotic rictus we’ve come to love so much.

  • The Good, The Bad, The Yummy

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    a square meal?

    Who can keep all the pyramidal permutations straight these days. There are good carbs and bad carbs, good fats and doughnuts. Being a foodiphile I’ve never been one to cut anything out of my life, but I have become a bit of a processed-food nazi. Even that doesn’t mean that I don’t snarf a hot dog/bag of chips here and there.

    One of the biggest things I’ve learned on my edible journey is: food makes me happy. When I’m sad, ice cream does wonders. When I’m angry, I might need to take a drive toward a red carton of salty fries. General malaise can be cured with anything slathered in pesto. Some people would chastise me for using food as an emotional fix, giving it a dangerous importance to my mental well-being. As if a bad week would see me permanently fixed to a table at Izzy’s.

    I’m not belittling eating disorders, Lord knows I’ve battled with enough women friends over their food issues. Maybe if the actual food was as important to them as its affect on their too-tight jeans, then they’d understand how to heal themselves.

    Moderation, of course, gives you roots and wings.

    All of the Time
    Avocados: a necessary good fat and integral part of any quality turkey sandwich.

    Nuts: peanut-butter is a building block of life.

    Olive oil: so versatile, sometimes I think I could drink it straight from the bottle.

    Bread: Fresh, springy or dense, seedy or not, locally baked a must.

    Meat: My last meal on earth will be beef.

    Veg: The more colorful the better. Tomatoes every day, asparagus all spring, pot-roast carrots when it’s cold.

    Fish/Chicken: Train the children early to eat fish that doesn’t come in sticks. Tell them it’s chicken if you have to.

    Dairy: Cheese is a gift from the animals to us, an entire meal can be saved with cheese.

    Chocolate: Hooked on 62% or higher.

    Some of the Time

    Pasta: Nothing holds a gorgonzola cream sauce like a dense, toothsome gnocchi.

    Butter: Margarine is the devil.

    Ice Cream: Should be classified by the FDA as a pharmaceutical.

    Potatoes: Who among us can completely deny fries? Or a hot, crispy hashbrown?

    Pizza: My pie = pesto, goat cheese, prosciutto, roasted red peppers, capers, Neapolitan crust.

    Burgers: My last meal on earth will be a cheeseburger.

    Indulgences

    Hot Dogs: Preferably from a hot cart.

    Coke: Ice cold, from the fountain, with a straw.

    Milk Duds: I can not watch a movie in a theater without them.

    Fried Chicken: Recovery food. Pure hangover bliss.

    Cream Cheese Wontons: It’s my Minnesota right.

    Doughnuts: Sometimes we all need a little kick-start.

  • The Best Of Fest: The Oohs and the Uh-Ohs

    My wish came true! Shutka Book of Records has been added to the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Film Festival’s “Best of Fest.” The replay happens tonight–and tonight only–at Oak Street Cinema at 9:30 p.m. Otherwise, I’ll be offering DVD rental to close friends and relatives starting next week.

    Also on the “Best of Fest” roster, disappointingly: Crossing The Bridge: The Sound of Istanbul, a documentary I thought mediocre, at best. (I gave it a 2.5 in my Strib review.) There was something funny about it, though. The narrator was this German avant-headbanger dude by the name of Alexander Hacke. He had a shaggy goatee and all. A caricature! The art-rock works! However interesting Istanbul is as a city, Crossing The Bridge relied upon interviews with some annoyingly obtuse, arty musician-types, most of which couldn’t form a decipherable, concrete-sequential sentence if their lives depended upon it. The music was all right, though. And let’s be clear here: a good way to sell movies, visual art, theatrical works, books, and whatever else it is they’re being hawked to the masses these days, is to make it about popular music, without dwelling too much on the classical stuff. Of course, I could be wrong about the whole show. Crossing The Bridge was apparently so popular, it’s getting replayed twice. That’s just salt in the wounds, man!

  • Rush Limbaugh Likes It

    Item: I received in my inbox (not the Rake email, but my personal address for friends and family) this little note from the folks at Motive Entertainment, the good people who helped make Mel Gibson’s S and M Undead Masterpiece The Passion of the Christ such a big hit. These folks have set up a website to give viewers of United 93 an opportunity to discuss the issues raised in the film. Such as why they (some Muslim groups) hate America, what we can do about it, and a forum for discussion.

    The last of which includes a link (from an individual, not Motive Entertainment) to a petition asking George W. to bomb Mecca and nuke Iran and Syria (and I’ll be damned if I’m going to link to them).

    Motive has gone to great lengths to try and fold Muslims and Jews and Christians into the campaign, and try to be nonpartisan. However, there’s a decidedly conservative bent to the email, which has three endorsements of United 93, the first from moderate thinker Rush Limbaugh (who wished this movie came out “two or three years ago”–why?), the second from Roger Ebert (Aren’t there better critics to quote? Christ, this guy likes everything…) and Dennis Praeger, whose own brand of Judaism doesn’t extend to loving gays, liberals, or Europeans, apparently (again, you can find his site on your own).

    So this movie, which seems on the surface to eschew any political leaning, is being co-opted, as all things 9/11 are, by the right wing. Which seems to me a greater insult to the memory of the victims of this tragic day more than anything else.

  • The rain hides my cryin'

    Happy May Day! (Grumble-Grumble.) The interminable rain foiled my weekend running plans of course, although it didn’t stop me from making it Brave New Workshop way. Also swung into the Soap Factory (two opposable thumbs up for the 8x8x8 exhibition–they had felt art!) and Theatre in the Round. But I’ll report back on all that later–I mean, I report back on what I feel is worth reporting back on.

    As far as today goes, I wouldn’t be a good journalist if I didn’t plug tonight’s lecture by Seth Mnookin (from Vanity Fair, dawg!! I’ve been just lovin’ that magazine as of late–even though I have been obsessively showering ever since “Tom Ford’s Hollywood”-slash-cootie-fest!). In any case, tonight’s event is brought to you by the University of Minnesota’s Silha Center for the Study of Media Ethics and Law, a fine organization. The topic: “The Customer is Always Right? The Assault on Media Impartiality from the Empowered American Consumer.” Not sure I can elaborate on that subject, for fear of pissing off our advertisers (just kidding). It sounds compelling in any case, no?

  • Gracias

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    um … hello?

    If you have dinner plans at a restaurant tonight, expect the unexpected.

    Latinos are the backbone of the kitchen industry: dishwashers, prep cooks, line cooks, bussers. They happily and successfully do the work that many native-born Americans refuse to do. Will they be there tonight to support your meal?

    It’s important to understand that the vast majority of restaurants know how valuable their Latino workers are. None of the well-run restaurants are taking today lightly, most of them have been talking about May 1 for months.

    It’s a tough spot. You want to respect your workers and their beliefs, but you also have a business to run. Most of the places I’ve talked to have a plan. They’ve given the day off to as many Latinos as they can, and they’ve asked the rest of the staff to step up and help. That’s not to say that you won’t still see some Latinos at work, I personally know a few who don’t agree with the protests and feel that they’d rather support the business they’ve helped make successful.

    But if you are one of those people who feels cheated when you know the chef isn’t actually cooking your food, check the line, tonight may be your night.

  • What Fo' I Read Yo Ivanhoe?

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    Death had become bored with humans and their ridiculous rituals, their lip service to life and its preciousness. How could he take them seriously after all the centuries they’d been mucking up his once mostly orderly routine?

    Once upon a time he’d had a pretty cut-and-dried job description. It wasn’t pleasant work –it wasn’t meant to be; he’d never taken any joy in it– and it wasn’t in his nature to be creative. Occasionally he’d get messed up in some large-scale collaborations, but he found these bigger, clumsier projects lamentable. Yet when all was said and done (and that, really, was his bailiwick), he was the closer, plain and simple. He didn’t, though, like slamming doors; he preferred shutting them as quietly as possible and going on his way.

    There was a time when he hadn’t been ashamed of his job. It had been honest, necessary work. But, all the same, he’d always preferred operating under the cover of darkness, and favored black garments, not to strike terror, but rather so as to move as inconspicuously as possible. From the beginning his job had been simply to take people when their time had come. Even he had never understood exactly how this business was determined, but he didn’t ask questions. Which isn’t to say that he had never participated in some operations that struck him as tragic and even unjust.

    God, how he despised the name “Grim Reaper.” He knew exactly who’d first coined the term, and it took every ounce of his mandated stoic restraint not to experience a spasm of pleasure when he’d finally received the order to take the man’s life. It didn’t mean diddly at that point, of course; the title already had wide currency, and would dog him forever. He understood all the same that a bad reputation came with the territory. There was nothing he could do about that, but he hated the melodramatic terror with which he was regarded; it was as if people didn’t understand that he had a claim on them from the moment they drew their first breath.

    For heaven’s sake, the world had been burying his handiwork since the beginning of time. You’d think humans could make their peace with the idea. Some of them, of course, could, and he had the utmost respect for these people, and exercised the most careful restraint in stopping their hearts. At the same time, he had little patience for those who flirted with and courted him, the reckless and heedless and hysterical. Still, left to his own devices he was never rash or vengeful; he had his orders, and was nothing if not a fellow who followed orders.

    There were, though, throughout history and increasingly, eruptions of violent madness, and he resented his role as glum sub-contractor in these mass incursions into his province.

    Free will was a terrible mistake, and was constantly making an impossible mess of his business. Whenever humans took his job in their own hands they inevitably made horrific work of it, and often on a large and disgracefully untidy scale.

    His presence continued to be required to seal the deal, such as it was, to make things official, but he seriously resented being dispatched at all hours to far-flung places where he was little but a helpless and disgruntled officiant.

    He needed help –it had become entirely too much work for one man– but things were what they were; it was too late, and he knew no help would be forthcoming. On some base level humans had become his collaborators, which rankled him; they were apparently more and more willing to do his dirty work, and even to take on dirty work that he himself would have been reluctant to undertake.

    He had long prided himself on not being a mess-maker, but it was too late for that as well. Every day anymore he found himself up to his elbows in messes and gore, whether he liked it or not.

    The hardest pill to swallow was that he had been almost completely usurped; the work still had his name on it, it was ultimately his signature on the bottom line, but it was no longer truly his work.

    It had become just another shit job. That was all there was to it. He had become an indifferent and exhausted practitioner of a profession he had once pursued with genuine dignity and skill and a certain stoic pride.

    Whenever he had time –and he seldom had time anymore– he would retire to his sprawling penthouse on a top floor of a moldering skyscraper in a forlorn industrial neighborhood of Frankfurt, where he would sit in the dark, listening to Mahler or perhaps Thelonious Monk, and petitioning ceaselessly, and with growing desperation, for retirement.

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  • How'd Ya Like Them Apples?

    This piece of information doesn’t exactly qualify as comfort, but on a rainy Saturday in late April it will perhaps serve as a grim and modestly entertaining diversion: For two days, late in the first month of the 2006 season, the Minnesota Twins were the worst baseball team on the planet.

    And maybe this will make you feel as optimistic as it does me: Albert Pujols is the same age as Jason Bartlett.

  • Let's Have A Party: A Kilo Is A Thousand Grams –It's Easy To Remember

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    Every day, every day I hear

    enough to fill

    a year of nights with wondering.


    –Denise Levertov, from “Every Day”

    Bring me all your dreams,

    You dreamer,

    Bring me all your

    Heart melodies

    That I may wrap them

    In a blue cloud-cloth

    Away from the too-rough fingers

    Of the world.


    Langston Hughes, “The Dream Keeper”

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  • Real World Situation

    United 93 and Akeelah and the Bee

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    “United 93”, 2006. Written and Directed by Paul Greengrass. With a cast of unfamous actors and actresses and many of the grounds crew, air traffic control, and, perhaps the star, Ben Sliney.

    Now showing at theaters throughout town.

    Around the turn of the last century, the Coney Island amusement park called Dreamland staged thrilling recreations of the latest disasters to bustling and eager crowds. Patrons would be given firsthand accounts, involving real water and flame, of the Galveston flood, the Mount Pelee eruption, and, barely two months after the fact, the San Francisco earthquake of 1906. These were just a few among dozens of theatrical disasters, one of which, the Boer War of 1902, involved many of the soldiers and commanders who had fought. Oddly enough, this involved both the British and Boers–no one, it seemed, was immune from the spotlight.

    So, too, flies United 93 onto our screen. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but the connection between these past theatrics and this movie are obvious to me. In fact, the character who we come to know best is that of Ben Sliney, the Operations Manager at the FAA’s Command Center in Herndon, Virginia. Who plays himself. Along with many of the air traffic controllers and grounds crew.

    Whatever your feeling about this, United 93 is an amazing accomplishment. Director Paul Greengrass is to be given tremendous credit for shaping the performances of these nonprofessionals and barely-professionals; a look at some of the actors on IMDB reveals a cast with little experience, who are excellent–though they really don’t hold any one scene as we aren’t allowed to know them as characters. Only Sliney, a man thrust into action on his very first day, can offer what can really be called a centering performance. And he’s magnificent.

    United 93 opens with a profound melancholy. September 11 was an unbelievably perfect day. Sunny. Crisp, with a touch of autumn in the air. The leaves changing. A back-to-shool quiet in the neighborhoods. Watching this, I wished I could go back to this time, when the President was merely a buffoon, the 2000 election was the worst thing that happened to us, and we weren’t suspicious, hateful, weary of war and of partisanship. In these first minutes we see, ever so briefly, many of the passengers that come on board–a sleepy teenage girl listening to music, a pair of hiking pals who’re going to hit Yosemite, a businessman returning home with his cell phone fused to his ear, a young athlete dressed in his college colors. And the terrorists: some gawking forlornly at images of supermodels on the airport walls, nervous as all hell, whispering quietly ‘I love you’ to someone on the phone (yes, that was the terrorist). Greengrass captures this quiet minutiae, from the inane sounds of the weatherman yakking about sunshine in the background, to the lame attempts at airport security, to the sleepyheads reading on board the flight and ignoring the safety instructions that will ultimately do no one any good at all. And when the door to the aircraft are finally sealed, only we know that so, too, is their fate. And ours.

    As soon as United 93 is airborne, the film switches to real-time in a way that is not obtrusive or obvious. It’s hard enough to relive these moments, to watch the CNN coverage again and again, all the while ground control is baffled, utterly and completely, by what we now know is reality. Events move swiftly yet not swiftly enough: one plane stops responding to an air traffic controller’s calls, causing concern, then action, then panic–and then vanishes off the screen. The men and women in the ground control haven’t a clue what’s going on, as they have no windows to look out of, no television to distract them. Only we know the truth–only to have it yanked out from under us as well. We discover that the plane that vanished is not the one that smashed into the World Trade Center, that was another plane, observed by a different controller. This is the second one to hit the building–and we’re suddenly plunged into the same chaos. If you’re a connoisseur of editing pay close attention here, for the cuts between Virginia, New York, and the plane keep the tension at its highest without confusion. Although we know the results, we are as baffled as the military (who yell “This is a real world situation!” in frustration), the people who keep the planes up, and even the President.

    United 93 continues its symphony of fascinating little details–of Sliney wondering aloud how many planes are airborne while in the background a map is absolutely glowing over little dots representing the 4,000 flying aircraft, to the pilot of Flight 93 shaking his personal bottle of hot sauce onto his breakfast, to the passengers wasting their time on their last flight over maps, cheap novels, the Wall Street Journal. And by the time the terrorist reveal themselves and the violence follows, we are at the point of nearly unbearable tension.

    Unfortunately, the film begins to flag once we’re stuck on board. Clearly, Greengrass tried his best to piece together clues from the conversations between those on board and those on the ground and it’s a moot point, really, to wonder if he got it right. What he does, however, is inject certain plot points and sentimentality into the film that hadn’t existed up to this point. While it’s no doubt tragic that the passengers of United 93 were able to talk to loved ones just before their deaths, we get this en masse in conversation after conversation, an attempt to humanize characters that we do not ever get to know. It is as if Greengrass had lost faith in the fact that we know that these are real people, and this is powerful enough. According to press releases, Greengrass made certain to have his actors communicate with the survivors of the flight–what then does the family of one (and I believe it’s Alan Anthony Beaven, played by Simon Poland) think of his portrayal as an appeasing, European-accented man, who even goes so far as to try and warn the terrorists of the passenger rebellion? None of this necessary: United 93 is almost literally a white-knuckle film without having to rely on these mechanics.

    Still, United 93 is an impressive piece of work, even if I’m not certain that I understand why it was made, or why we would see it. It’s impossible to say, of course, but it also strikes me as the kind of film that dates badly, in part because the tension of the opening hour rests, I believe, on the back of our shared experience. Perhaps this is why the second half of the film is, in my mind, not so much an exercise in heroics but a cathartic revenge where we have not had any in real life.

    I’ve heard over and over that this is a great film no one will want to see. Frankly, my guess is that United 93 is going to shoot to number one and rake in tons of money and be seen quite often, probably even at some IMAX experience. To suggest that it’s important because we shouldn’t forget seems odd considering 9/11 happened less than five years ago and remains quite fresh in everyone’s mind. Unlike films about the holocaust–which were necessary to inform a gentile population of events they had little knowledge and didn’t see cinematic interpretation until nearly a generation had passed–United 93 comes almost on the heels of the event itself. Like the opening of Saving Private Ryan, the entirety of Black Hawk Down, and even, perhaps, like the staged disasters in Dreamland, maybe United 93 satisfies a deeper, more secret appeal–that hunger to be there, in a pretend disaster, of taking part in something larger and greater than we’re used to, even though it’s a fantasy. Is that wrong?

    “Akeelah and the Bee”, 2006. Written and directed by Doug Atichson. Starring Keke Palmer, Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett, Gilbert Gottfried look-alike Curtis Armstrong, J. R. Villarreal, Sean Michael, and Sahara Garey.

    Now playing in theaters around town. Though not that many theaters around town.

    God save Akeelah and the Bee. I can’t imagine that the studio and the folks at Starbucks Coffee, who produced this (and did not, to my utter amazement, have one of their coffee shops in the movie) figured they were going to open against the United 93 juggernaut. Which is somewhat of a shame because Akeelah is a fun movie–tense, exciting, funny, sad and uplifting. Yes, one must wade through tidepools of sentimentality and shake off tangled plot twists that make virtually no sense at all. And yet, it’s a movie I wish had when I was a kid, a movie I dream white suburban kids would watch along with inner-city kids with half a future.

    The plot is simple, going from straightforward and touching and eventually fraying into ludicrousness: Akeelah Anderson is a young girl, very smart, enrolled at an inner-city Los Angeles school that hasn’t got anywhere near the resources to engage a girl as sharp as her. Akeelah whips off tests like they’re Kleenex to be discarded, always gets her ‘A’, but is doing poorly because she skips school and ignores homework.

    Reluctantly, Akeelah enrolls in the school spelling bee and is discovered to have an amazing ability to spell anything, like ‘prospicience’–a word that’s not even in my computer’s spell-check. Along comes Laurence Fishburne, a professor with a mangled past, who decides to help both his pal running the school (Curtis Armstrong) and Akeelah by coaching her for the national spelling bee.

    Of course, there’s interference: Akeelah’s single mom wants her to stop, as the girl’s already ignoring her homework and mom can’t wrap her mind around the benefits of a spelling bee. Akeelah’s father’s dead, her sister’s got a baby already, and her brother’s falling into the hands of local gangs. There are bullies; the requisite scene where Akeelah might lose her best friend; Fishburne’s lost a child long ago and has so much pain he might have to stop coaching Akeelah–this last one, and many of the final climaxes, are clearly the work of a screenwriter who can’t find enough plot points within this simple story to engage us, and some of them become quite infuriating. But the end falls on a note of shared triumph, and I was surprised to find myself gulping with emotion.

    Akeelah and the Bee also has some moving scenes of poverty: like Akeelah trying to study while police helicopters fly overhead (a common occurrence in L.A.), taking an hour bus ride to a suburban school to work with a spelling club, and seeing out the window some wealthy white kids jamming to gangsta rap. The film doesn’t shy away from the concerns of the inner city, nor does it abandon the people there. It does tend to slip into an overzealous need to make everything shiny toward the end–having the neighborhood drunk helping Akeelah with her spelling is a bit much, as is the rapper who, it’s suggested earlier, might be engaged in drug dealing or robbery, but later is a frustrated poet and Akeelah’s champion.

    Keke Palmer, who plays Akeelah, is a great find–the film is worth seeing just for her performance, and I’ll tell you that it’s a joy to see young actors and actresses play their hearts out, and take on a role with such moxie. Hopefully we’ll see a lot of her. The rapport between Palmer and Laurence Fishburne is nice, I’ll always love Angela Bassett, and the music is well-used.

    The plot is often ham-handed, but then I have to say, so what? This is a children’s movie, and one that kids everywhere could stand to see, more so than any of the CGI crap that’s out there. Parents could do much worse than show their charges a film with people, with real troubles, and one that emphasizes hard work and studying.

    When I was young, my favorite book was a lovely little thing called The Snowy Day, by Ezra Jack Keats. It involved a young African-American child going wowsers over a good foot of snow that had been dumped in his neighborhood, and his adventures outside. I was jazzed by the fact that a) this took place in a dingy apartment building like I lived in, b) the kid was raised by a single mom, and c) we shared the same first name. The joy of the book was heightened by our similarities and made me feel like there were stories in my own little world, so unlike the norm I witnessed on TV. I’d like to think that there are children in the run down neighborhoods of Los Angeles, of Detroit, and of Minneapolis, who will see Akeelah and the Bee and sense that there’s a movie on their own block, and that by simply reading, by being there for friends and neighbors, they’re the star.

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