Justin doesn’t cut it. Every high school football and soccer team in America has a half dozen Justins on its roster, and the name reeks of suburban privilege. It’s a boy-band name, and I’d love to see Justin Morneau go in a different direction. Granted, the big Canuck seems to be doing just fine right … Read more
Guillen also told Couch that he has gay friends, attends WNBA games, went to a Madonna concert and plans to go to the Gay Games in Chicago.
Eureka! Or something perhaps not quite so enthusiastic, but a minor cause for exultation all the same. And why is that? Because the Twins just swept the Red Sox, yes, but also because we’re finally seeing the version of the 2006 team we should have seen back in April. Tony Batista was a bust, and … Read more
–Illustration by James Dankert The things a guy will do for a free burrito. It’s humiliating, but a deal’s a deal, even when it’s not much of a deal. A couple weeks ago I insisted I wouldn’t write a damn word until the Twins clawed their way to .500. When it became apparent that that … Read more
While I’m waiting on Uncle Jumbo I’ll pose this question: Have there been any Dick Such sightings in or around the Metrodome lately? Because I’m really struggling to understand the Twins’ 5.44 ERA and the abysmal performances of Brad Radke, Carlos Silva, and Kyle Lohse. It’s not such a struggle, really, to understand the Lohse … Read more
Lord have mercy! What team was that? Nineteen hits? Six walks? Fifteen runs? Kevin Millwood gives up nine earned runs in one-and-a-third innings and his ERA only rises to 5.13? How could that be possible? And what the hell has gotten into Michael Cuddyer? That game was ridiculous. This team is ridiculous. They’re going to … Read more
So this is what it’s come to: Twins put up a fight in loss How sad. How very, very sad.
You pretty much have to trot out ever dis– word in your arsenal to describe the nightmares of the first five weeks of the 2006 Twins season: Discouraging. Dismal. Disheartening. Disgusting. Disgraceful. Disappointing. Discomfiting. Discombobulated. Distressing. Disastrous, E…T…C…. A team can be some of those things and still manage to be entertaining, but thus far … Read more
This piece of information doesn’t exactly qualify as comfort, but on a rainy Saturday in late April it will perhaps serve as a grim and modestly entertaining diversion: For two days, late in the first month of the 2006 season, the Minnesota Twins were the worst baseball team on the planet. And maybe this will … Read more
Here’s the frustrating and telling thing about last night’s half-assed performance in Kansas City: Sure, the Twins scored just one run off Runelvys Hernandez, but it’s what they did –or didn’t do– when they weren’t scoring that one run that was so pathetic. Hernandez was making his first 2006 start, this after going 8-14 with … Read more