Do The World A Huge Favor

When I was a kid, there was this store out at the mall that sold cheese from all over the world. The place reeked. They must have had hundreds of different kinds of cheese. I like cheese as much as the next guy, but you wouldn’t think there would be any real need for so … Read more

Any Old Business?

He asked Emilie to leave the curtains by this window undrawn at night, in order that, when people were asleep, the fish might look at the moon. —Isak Dinesen, “The Dreaming Child” What is the theme? he shouted at me. I’m sorry? I said. Your point! he bellowed. What is your point? Things are slippery? … Read more

Stop Me If You've Already Heard This One

So ain’t we all inanimate, George? —Jim Thompson, Pop. 1280 I saw you spinning that greeting card rack at the truck stop. I saw the look in your eyes. You eventually moved to the next rack and bought a cheap pair of sunglasses instead. You’re tempted, aren’t you, always tempted to add some helpless contribution … Read more

What I Have To Say Today

Whoever, so as to simplify problems, denies the existence of certain obligations has, in his heart, made a compact with crime. —Simone Weil, The Need For Roots How could I have expected that after a long life I would understand no more than to wake up at night and to repeat: strange, strange, strange, o … Read more

The Diving Bell, The Belly Of The Whale

For fifteen years I’d been waiting for the news that this poor, skinny fucker had turned up dead in a place just like this, but here he was, (barely) living proof that it didn’t require much in the way of cooperation and commitment to simply keep on breathing. It had probably been at least seven … Read more

Hello [Insert Town Name Here]!

How strange. Do you see how much that poor creature has in its hands? And yet you’ve never known anyone with emptier arms. Look Closely: This Picture Is A Metaphor Is anybody alive out there? Would you care to show yourselves or produce some general murmur to announce your presence? This darkness is oppressive, and … Read more