"This F'n Vaseline Thing"

by

For those of you who are still reeling from Matt Barney’s Drawing Restraint 9, I have just the thing for you: tonight at the Walker Art Center they’re showing the documentary Matthew Barney: No Restraint at 8:00–and it’s free (provided you get there on time–tix available at 7). Quite frankly, this documentary is, in my … Read more

Harder To Be Down

by

He had gone up in his rocket again and again and returned to earth each time with a renewed sense of wonder. Even so, with each return it was harder to come back down. Or, rather, it was harder to be down. He’d gradually grown accustomed to the feeling of being out of this world, … Read more

Trader Joe's

by

Scenes from the melee that was the Trader Joe’s opening in St. Louis Park. Seriously, it was packed. Anyone with a cart was nearly lynched. Everything is sold under the Trader Joe’s label. The cheese selection was good but not phenomenal. And I want phenomenal cheese forever more. Yay, gazpacho! A nice deal on frozen … Read more

Music for Big Boys

by

One of those things I wish I had tickets to: The Minnesota Orchestra is performing Tosca all weekend long. Word on the street is that soprano Deborah Voigt, in the title role, has been knocking musicians’ socks off in rehearsals. On that note, here’s a word to the wise/note to self: If you want to … Read more

The Music Up In The Clouds

by

So the American Composers Forum has this little record label called Innova. Last I checked the label was putting out some great new jazz and gospel records, as well as the requisite “contemporary classical” discs. The few Innova-issued recordings in my collection include The Beat Circus, which is basically a collection of zany circus music–a … Read more

Big (a meditation on the Mini Cooper)

by

Little Big Car A journalist once asked Truman Capote after a hard days work just how many words he had committed to paper. “One,” said Capote. “After working all day, just one word?” asked the journalist. “Yes,” said Capote, “but it was the right word.” I may never be able to define a “Chick Car” … Read more

Not much of a secret

by

Augusten Burroughs. University of Minnesota Bookstore. Tonight, 7 p.m. That’s all I’ve got! Sorry. I had a long, exhausting, but ultimately great weekend that involved much shopping at Art-A-Whirl, whereat I bought a yellow necklace of Japanese beads and a low-pitched, laminate beam coffee table. I’m pleased with both purchases, but especially the latter. This … Read more

A New Hope

by

Joey Chestnut, they muttered beneath their breath, Joey Chestnut could be the one. It may be too soon to talk about it, we may be jinxing the best chance we’ve had in a long time, but the world of competitive eating is a-buzz with Joey Chestnut. Last Thursday, in the Las Vegas qualifier for the … Read more

First Chapters: Chapter Two

by

For years I lived in a rooming house where I shared a bathroom with a giant and a mermaid. The mermaid spent a lot of time in the bathtub. The giant had dodgy hygiene, generally poor social skills, and a full head of bright red hair. There was often discussion around the place as to … Read more